Everything has been quiet here for some time. We have procured the cutest 1930's craftsman bungalow to live in, I've settled into the job, kids into school and Jeremiah into his routine as well. I find my self avoiding my own school work of late, too much time researching chickens as a hobby. These last couple days have been exceptionally hard, as the 1 year anniversary of dads death looms on the horizon. I remember the events like it was yesterday and these last 360 days were just a bad dream. I remember especially his smile and his joking with me that last night we sat in the ER "just to check him out" and that next day he was vented, sedated and I never spoke to hime again. So much to say, ...all left unsaid. I'm in physical pain as I think of it. A broken heart does hurt. I'm so worried for my mother this week before Thanksgiving, as last year we spent it at dads bedside, not caring about the holiday we were all missing. However, that last thanksgiving was the first time in years dad had his girls together and I know he would have been very glad about that. Days ran into weeks and then finally on December 4th he went home. It sucked. Happy for him, devastated for me and my sisters. This 1 year anniversary is like re-living it all over again, in technicolor. Not so much of the heart rending reality, but similiar to an old, sad re-run that you don't want to ever watch again, but it is on every channel and you can't seem to turn it off and walk away.